KiTz

so long long long story...

2010-06-28T00:47:00.000+08:00

Wao~~~
it been a long time i din update my blog liao lo~~~~
Hmmm recently really may be very busy jor me..
so i just like just can online and see my facebook
and din even touch out my blog..
Seeing i write blog mean that something really bad has happen upon me..
Yea~~ u are right ,
I really have something unhappy has happen a..
But i just don feel like mention it out what is about..
Coz I know , there are a repitation keep on happen
if everyone of us still remain the same attitude and thinking...
HAIZ~~~~
long time din mention this word..
may be really busy till forget...
Recently really busy until everything happen also cant rmb..
I start to stop drink less cold thing already..
I even start to drink hot tea~~
I know recently my healthy are getting worse
N come wit that , I think I am getting some problem in my internal..
Not going for medical check up but look after my eat attitude..
I start to stop eat late and even supper...
I know that i am fat and is time to keep fit..
Previously I have gamble and lose some money..
and from there , I am wake up because gamble are not good..
I already stop gamble and not even care about wat happening...
wat am I right now?
I am changing myself toward all the previously bad attitude...
ya , i start to belive ppl say..
U need something u need to scrafice something...
hmmm , i just read one of my fb fren wall..
she write "If you love something, set it free,
if it comes back to you,
it is yours,
if it doesn't it never was.
(如果你真的喜欢什么，
给他自由吧。
如果他回到你的身边，
他就是
你的了，如果他没有回来，

他也永远不是你的了)♥ "

Ya i also wish I can do so..

but it remind one of my pass..

I don even care her single matter..

but end up , she left without telling me anything

and she wit other guys..

Oh that really hurt deeply in my heart..

What i was doing now is a precaution to myself and my partner..

I don wan have repeatation after it...

May be she really don understand ,

but Wat I can do..

I cant blame and say anything..

becoz everything is go through understanding..

I also don wan to write much..

I know when someone really know about it..

is waken up , den everything will be a solution...

I really tired to argue or to say anything.

hope the understanding day will come..

don really hope that what we will regret toward our own choice..

coz of some matter..

She alway say nothing to talk and dono..

is that mean communication between us??

she alway say i don care her feeling or any matter??

but is she understanding about me and herself???

hmmm~~~~ now say wat also no use...

because , the problem is out ..

and We have nothing to talk until someone willing to step out..

who is it?? i dono ..

I just wan her to understand the situation ,

or she is the one to do something ...

even she dare to call me and scold and slam and end up apologies..

i think , there are a solution to keep going..

but everyone said , she is a stone and me is a stone..

I think there won have any thing to continue is remain in silence..

"In a relationship , if keep on Remain silence it just end up wit nothing.."

By kit Tan..

haiz , why this happen..

2010-06-09T02:50:00.000+08:00

Just now finish having BBQ at colleague house..

haiz , something unhappy happens again...

I call her and we have a small chat..

suddenly she tell me something and make me very moody..

I not angry because of she cant ,

but I just angry myself why I was so excited and focus on it..

I feel that very miserable..

is just like , i was being bring up the sky ,

and suddenly fall down on the floor...

Haiz~~~

How come it alway happen..

She told me and say I am not giving her personal time..

I was like get shock ,

how come a gf will tell her bf this kind of matter..

Being a couple should be alway together , company each other

love , care and so on right..

but lastly she tell me all this is shouldnot happen..

It make myself more emotional..

I feel that , Haiz~~~~

I also no comment on it anymore...

MY heart suddenly feel sour and pain..

What I aspect my gf will give me is all this..

I am lonely and boring staying outside alone..

every night cant sleep well ,

and I wish the next day in the morning the one I wish to see is

HER~~~

But she told me all those stuff..

Everything I wish her to do and wan her to be,

is really hard and just like forcing her to do..

I now only know , she don wan all this...

My heart feel painful again~~~

Previously she had problem wit her family..

She is lonely ..

I din throw her aside and keep company her..

she fight wit her sister , I an wei her and take care her...

she hungry that time i company her go eat and stay wit her..

go find her a night and talk to her everynight and make her sleep..

But

Once she is recover wit her family~~~

I feel like I am out of it anymore...

My heart start to pain again~~~

She told me she need time to company her family...

she need to do hers things~~~~

but did she think of my feeling???

did she thing of company me??

did she thing of , when she need me ,

I throw off all my things and company her...

Haiz~~~

Tonight , totally moody~~~~

I also dono wat to say to myself to make myself feel better..

My heart feel so sour and I wish to cry...

my room just left me ,

No one hear wat I say ,

no one give me opinion ,

no one ask about me~~

Having nothing because she is not here and need others more than me..

Dono why , I start to lost my happiness , start to lost everything..

I wish she more understand..

because , I had no one to communicate...

If she keep on ..

I feel like silence myself aside ,

and keep quite forever~~~~~

she won ever understand me and known me well~~

I am tired but not sleepy~~

I have to force myself to sleep..

good nitez~~

/-\ hmmm /-\

2010-05-22T09:57:00.000+08:00

In the world , there are many people don understand about their relation..
sometime they could misunderstanding and start argue...
One of it is me myself...
I know that I have some bad attitude..
Sometime could even misunderstanding..
but actually I just caring..
Everything is new stages for me to change..
but is needed some times to do so..
I slowly and getting know about it..
giving way is something we can maintain the relation..
understand and try to give way..
many people would say that ,
my gf is new and dono anything ,
but I willing to teach her about everything..
We have the same attitude ,
but sometime we tolerate each other..
I know that I did wrong something could make her very angry..
but after that , I would apologize that I am wrong..
but why cant She just forgive..
sometimes she make me gone mad ,
but just easily I forgive ,
not becoz I not angry ,
is just because I don wan have conflict ,
and we can be more happily..
argument is something got for future ,
but there are many bad effect below on it..
I did drop her image in her fren once..
but that time I also wish I won do that..
just the one time ,
she judge my future..
I don even dare to talk in future or past anymore
because there are many sad and sorrow stuff..
I just wanted to happily and nicely pass my life..
cant just everything pass smoothly??
freedom is starting to giving..
slowly slowly give...becoz I know I try my best..
hope it understand my feeling and what i am doing actually..
I don wan argue and fight anymore..
make everyone life so miserable...

Relax myself...

2010-05-12T02:07:00.000+08:00

Hmm...
i think i should stop writing the story down..
becoz I would influence someone..
Just talk over only...
yesterday I din upload becoz of busy..hehe
have tea wit colleague , den go night club see girl sing song
den chit chat...
I knew a girl there can 'le le'...
She is from china..
I was shy tat time when she wanted to talk to me..
but lastly we turn up be fren..
I talk alot about my love story to her
and she told me a lot about her family and hometown..
She seen sad when she talk about her stuff..
Sorry I din mean to ask all those..
I ask her why she wan to do such job ,
she told me that ,
when someone needs money , no matter wat job ,
someone have to do as well...
Hmmm they are quite pity as well..
but nothing I can do , just have a cheer of beer ,
and wish her good luck...
When the time I reach home..
Is already 4 am...
OMG~~~
What happen to me.. am I mad of it..hehe
hang till so late..
so bad that I let my mom wait me..
When I enter the house , she when out and ask me..
Why so late !! sorry mom..
I though u all slept, sorry...hehe
__________________________________________
So funny thing happen...
Once of my colleague know me is single ,
and one of my ex know me is single..
What they told me is something make me suprise..hehe
They say how come ,
Ur gf look so guai lui and Ting hua de...
WOn do this de lo.. Is it u fly people..hehe
I just laugh back and say nothing la...
Everything will be fine..
but everything is end already..hehe
She is good , guai ad ting hua de a..
everyone is right , just I am not the one only ma..hehe
I have curiousity and naughty de..hehe
But ,
all this is past lo..
Don really put in heart la..
She will have better and be more better..
She is much more better den wat I think of her..
hehe..
All the best to her again lo..
Feel better saying out something ,
but feel more better is she know wat I am saying..hehe
_________________________________________
Today , is a busy day...
and all the time are busy..
happy , emo and funky..hehe
have tea wit my bro ...
Dono why suddenly feel need love and need someone to care..
need someone to scold and say me...
but , don have lo..
so scold myself..hehe
sei chun~~~~ hahahahaha
Aright ,
tomorrow will be my holiday..
I will going to Langkawi now...
Wait for me ya..
Have to fetch my fren ,
go to office send up everything ,
reach home get my stuff ready..
and go for it..yeah~~~~~
I love holiday I love sea
I love girl I love joy
and most important
I Love SUN~~~~
I will be the sunny boy there..hehe
All night craping only at here...haha
Good nitez and sweet dream..

putting her down day 4

2010-05-10T01:11:00.000+08:00

Today already the forth day..
N is mothers day...
I am going to treat my mom and family eat..
OMG~~~
They eat up me Rm180 ..
but is okay la...
Just once awhile only... so let it be ba..
Everyone is so happy and talk a lot..
So long we din communicate already..
today is my 'family day'...
muahahahahaha..
My mom suddenly ask me a very tough question..
She ask me ,
Am I serious with that girl???
I was like , OMG~~~
Mom , how come u will ask this kind of question..
Den ask me show her...
but I think my mom start to like her..
previously my mom don even ask and keep disagree
me to dating..
cant imagine she will say such thing to me today..
I was very happy my mom have accept her..
But..
1 thing very important I din say to them..
We are separated since the last time she visit my house..
I don wan to tell them becoz I don wan them to worried me..
My mom love me a lot
and care me a lot..
I don wan her becoz of my matter ,
it effect her and need her to take care me..
I just have to keep in my heart ...
I just keep quite only..hehe
Just now at outside..
chat wit my neighbor which is my college mate as well..
We talk about rent house ,
go out know fren and about our love story..
Although I don have ,
but I can share some of my previous one..
He even told me a lot of his gf stuff..
I am bit jealous jor...hehe
Her gf is good to her..
pretty as well and nice..
he is a lucky boy man...hehe
Even wit that ,
Previously my love one even good to me,
pretty and beauty to me..
I even feel statify of having her..
but many thing is not up to my choice..
just stand behind and see everything lo...
Heard a song today..
is nice..
sang by

梁文音

'哭過就好了'

Is really nice~~~
one part in the MV told me is totally touching..
it recall me deeply in toward her..
she alway don say no , not because she don wan ,
Is because she love me.
she don angry not because she don have angriness,
is because she love me .
she don cry in front of me not because she don have tears,
is because she she love me and don wan me to worried..
Once I saw and recall it...
I remember the time she cry in front of me ,
and all that she do it to me..
My heart was deeply sour right now..
and I should sleep ...
good nitez...

putting her down day 3

2010-05-09T01:39:00.000+08:00

Today ,
wake up in the morning and go to work..
Though should be a exciting place for me to travel,
but actually not..
Have dim sum at connaught den go straight to klang..
hehe~~~
When the time reach there is totally lame and boring...
No customer at all..hurm~~~
just have gathering and talks about ghost story..
den go shopping when the event ends...
I bought CROCS shoe and some small stuff..
Is wearing to langkawi soon..hehe
____________________________________________
Hmmm , today still remaining the same feeling again..
At the event that time ,
have a small chat wit shito..
Hurmm~~~ is some interesting story
and bout his love story..
Is totally nice and sweet..
Jealousy man...
Just now have tea wit brothers..
Tension and stress again...
after tea , I at parking talk a lot wit jack..
He really lend me his ear,
even an wei me as well..
Thanks..
I even causes her have a bit conflict wit his gf,
becoz his gf call him and wan to talk to him becoz she is down.
opps~~~ me cause him in trouble..
hurm , tells him everything which happen upon me..
dono why the feeling cannot being throw away..
The more I wan to throw , the more is stay harder..
Is deeply and full force on focusing her ,
so the feel is there...
every time I hold the phone ,
I was like wanted to call or wait to receive a call..
but is never rang..
Dono why ,
I still will jealous on certain matter..
cant just look it over..
she seen like wrote a lot of thing towards me...
That show may be I have did something wrong again...
May be I am a hard and she is hard too..
when we bang together..
is hurting each of us..
May be I am not as good as others,
but I wish one day she could understand..
dono why , suddenly feel that I would like to wishing her..
Even support on her work and everything..
Actually what I wanted to put down is actually nothing..
seeing her so happy can go out gathering wit fren ,
seeing her business is good ,
seeing her shop wit fren and plan to hanging out,
I was like totally happy on her as long she happy..
Dono why , I don feel like rejecting or unhappy anymore..
and dono why I feel she will know what she is doing..
Dono why I feel that she will take care herself from that moment..
Now , i alway feel afraid I will do or say wrong things..
So I will thinking deeply first before it..
Some times saw she like facing some problem,
I would send her a message and tell her,
there are someone behind her which care and support..
even though is nothing to her , but it mean a lot to me..
may be she really decide to leave me alone,
but I still there look after her..
Is she as hard as a stone just leave me aside..
don even send or call me..
Is really a hard feeling ,
but I know , I have to accept
and respect on her..
Although every time feel like putting down ,
but is really really something which challenge me..
I am afraid , this will stay wit me more and more...
Good Nitez and sweet dream...

Putting her down day 2

2010-05-08T01:15:00.002+08:00

today wake up at 9 10 am,
i am totally tired because last night sleep at 3 something..
hmmm is a tired day..
I went to klang to set up counter..
den I do my own stuff..
____________________________________________
today still remain the same feeling..
Toward myself..
still will boring and moody life..
Dono why nowadays everything are keep on changing..
I don dare to care about any personal stuff
or even control or 8 about others..
hmmm
Something recall me back again..
This morning I wit colleague when to eat breakfast..
They order a bow of red bean soup..
RED BEAN soup remind me something back..
Once ,
I was argue wit her at the car about something..
She was upset and feel like crying...
she told me she wan to drink red bean den the she will happy..
That moment I was lying her that don have.
but what I am doing is think where are selling..
All the way we keep quite..
Till I reach Taman Midah , There are selling red bean soup..
She ask me what i am doing ,
at first I don wan to tell , but lastly I told her..
She was totally happy and laugh wit joy..
My feeling was so happy and happy..
but there are no such chances anymore..
At the evening..
Jessie ask me to go Kim Gary..
it recall back something again..
It was the time she date me out to shopping,
that she wanted to buy shoe and shirt..
We have lunch at Kim Gary as well..
I remember she order a set of cheese rice,
fries and coke wit lemon...
She cant finish the food , and told me not to let her order next time..
I was keep smiling when I recall it back..
She like to wasted food ,
but the way she tell me are totally funny and lovely..
It remind me the way she eat ,
the way she react ,
and the thing we discuss..
hmmm ~~~
but all this are turning to memoris..
Dono why , every time I went to a place that
we went before it alway remind me something...
no matter where I go , no matter where I am..
there are a lot of memoris came along..
The day I work at Ikano ,
when I go toward Cineleisure ,
Is the place we first hold hand together and snap photo..
anywhere anytime , there are something around me..
Even at office , it remind me call her constantly..
Hurm~~~~
Wanted to put down something is not as easy as I think..
wan someone happy is not as easy as I wan..
There are many things which I don accept ,
but I have to accept it..
I heard 2 something in a time...
没那么简单 and 外面的世界..
The first song alway tell me ,
everything is not as easy as we alway thinks..
just like the first time we together ,
the first time we were separate ,
the second time we together,
the second time we separate,
the third time we together,
and then third time we separate..
all are the path way we have been together..
second song told me about ,
once we have each other..
and
When 1 day she really understand the world outside ,
den she really will understand me more than now..
I not mature as I am ,
but I am as caring as someone parent...
The world are colorful ,
the world have many things,
but when she have seen everything ,
the time she wan to return ,
I will the one which waiting her return ,
and come back toward me..
Is may be a long path for us right now..
or may be there are no such way anymore..
The feeling is here , the available of me are here...
The door are alway waiting for her..
Good nitez..

Putting her down day 1

2010-05-07T03:05:00.000+08:00

today ,
consider the first thing I put it down..
Previously is something which it never happen on me..
but it really come true..
I don have choice to choose anymore
and just have to follow the answer to flow..
Is really a tough job for me...
but
many thing is really cannot being force..
Tis morning i wake up at 9 30..
Oh man.. is really a lame day for me..
i last night slept at 3..
but dono why I don feel tired today..
this 2 day don feel hungry don feel like eating..
My weight is dropping..
is emotional and dono why suddenly I will feel very tension..
Something which is wit me and has leave..
I feel that ,
wat important situation , I dono wanted to tell who..
i lost my receiver station..
No one hear me and understand me..
even no one are giving me advice and scold me..
Hmmmm
but what I being told is ,
leave her alone , look for others
don waste my time and not valuable to wait..
is this the hint I get???
but is time to let someone out the world..
chasing someone is easy,
but wan to have a true feeling and love is hard..
but wat really hard is to forget someone
and throw away the feeling which I built it difficultly..
Just try my best to make she happy and myself happy..
let her go and put down the feeling I had..
Something which she already decide ,
what I explain what I do is nothing to her..
I no where to write out all this ,
but just here..
putting down her will be my title..
_______________________________________________
Just now say she written she is very tension..
I don dare to ask and I don have the right to ask..
Just let her know , I am standing opposite to look after her..
I won disturb her , but the worried are all the way to me..
I have no choice to send her a message ,
hope she feel better and can sleep well..
good nitez to her and good nitez to me..
This coming few day before I enter my paradise,
I will be absolutely busy..
Good luck to my work and hope she is fine..

Get it~~~~

2010-05-06T19:06:00.000+08:00

Alright ,
many thing really has happen
and something has really make it clear...
There are no more turning point and should be no regret among us..
The discussion is very clear and the answer I really accept it..
Thank you open my thinking
and sorry for the past..hehe
^^
Previously keep on think that ,
As long don give up , there are chance or way to solve it..
but really sometime something really cannot being force one..
so it the good end here and just keep the memoris in my box..
all the photo and memoris I will write it out and wash it..
keep it nicely in my secret box as a good memoris for me...
______________________________________________________
Yesterday not a good day for me becoz it make me feel unhappy..
but thanks to some brother company me go watch Iron man 2...haha
err is normal only ba...
den yam cha at a old town...muahaha.. crap alot there..
Oh~~~
wuwuwu previously no people company me watch IP Man 2 le..
but today , my boss and colleague company me watch..
really nice la them ..
Hmm this few day work hard sin..
coming sat I will be at klang lo..
got roadshow there..
go so far wo... must tired ,but no choice ,
I just wan to earn money n nothing else..
_______________________________________________
Wao coming wed ,
I will be at Langkawi..
muahahaha... previously is dating paradise ,
but no change to happy paradise...
is time to let me be the sunshine boy there...
I will go swim even i dono swim..
wan me die den die la..muahahahaha..
Go there L ying..muahahaha..
I will divert all my things and play till gao gao..
Bring all my money spend over there..
Don ever being so stingy already...
I love YOU my lovely paradise langkawi beach..
Let rock it up babe~~~~
See u soon and hope is a nice,enjoy and funky trip..
GoGoGo..
I cant wait to go for my trip...muahahaha...

hope U understand~~~

2010-05-05T02:36:00.000+08:00

I will remember 3/4/2010
This is the day which I being left out...
this is the day which I cant forget
this is the day which make we have to move on my life...
Previous many thing I dono about her..
She don tell ,
SO i totally dono what she want..
I though what I feel that is , is the way she wan
but actually not.
She is good to me ,
give me the priority to give opinion,
follow what I say and What I wan..
never complaint or angry...
but actually she has comment and don likes certain matter...
She still remain silence and just take it..
When I realise all this problem that time
when I wan to know and change tat time..
I think is to late...
Hmmm she lastly choose to leave me..
I wanted to recover ,
but may she really don wan already..
I now only start to know that she is a girl which are like a bird..
wanted to fly out and see the world..
many things she dono and don understand..
From beginning I am wrong becoz
she is living among her fren and family and don even know about outside..
I make a wrong decision to tie up her from beginning..
I should let her do what she wan and let her be..
I am not supportive enough for me..
I feel that I am deeply jealous and own opinion..
Now ,
I don wish to say anything becoz I know ,
if we are fated to be together ,
we will meet up one day..
Now is time to let her go out and meet up the world..
let her know how is the world outside,
and not just staying and dono anything..
from that moment I am awake ,
I should alway support her , no matter what..
All the best to her business , work ,
take care herself when I am not there...
Don get hurt or injuries , don stay up late..
drink more water and rest more..
don over stress and be happy always..
I will be the one standing opposite look after (YOU)~~~
Nothing can do and nothing can say..
just let each of us have a chance to rest and keep on moving..
One thing I wanted to say is...
I previous don really understand her ,
but now I do...
i totally trust her from beginning till end
but just worried only..
May be is really to late to say sorry,
but I have to do so...(sorry)
I did wrong..
I wan to thanks her a lot lot lot~~
becoz previously she really take care me a lot..
give me be the chooser ,
be the one to control and handle..
understand me stay wit me and look after me...
Thank you very much...
wish u all the best and safe all the time..
To my lovely Careo Soh Hooi Voon..
U will always on my heart~~~
Hope one day we can meet up again together..
good Nitez
Listed on (5/5/2010 2.35am)

What is it...

2010-05-03T00:12:00.001+08:00

Saw somethin which I don feel to read and saw..
The thing I worried lastly come along...
Wat she write is totally hurt..
Even the problm I worried is go clubbing..
the guy is started to ask..
Is it next time I argue than she will go wit him?
I just now at library talk wit some colleague..
they tell me alot and counsel me alot..
Thanks shito , jerry and ricky..
u guys teach me alot and tell me alot
exspecially shito..
thanks you really really so much
and make me more understand..
I feel that sometime I am wrong ,
so I know i should do is apologise..
when I do so ,
she reply..
I am totally happy ,
but when I at home i read her blog..
She is totally make me feel sad and get hurt..
am I not loving her??
is tat funny enough..
If i am not ,
should i care how and I look back for her..
Omg this making me crazy...
actually the problem
is the way she talk make me feel very unhappy and angry
so avoid from argument i cut her line..
write those thing to me..
what she wan me to do..
I call her and ask but she tell me is her feeling words
what is this , If i wan to do this kind ,
i already tell out everything and tell to everyone la..
I care how she feel and think of her..
but she is writing this kind of blog at there..
haiz..
I really feel that what I did is all wrong??
or U don wan me care at all...
I really dono wat u thinking at all..
still can so cool talking to me..
what u wan from me anymore?
I already nicely talk to u...
u wan how o??
haiz...
I am sick already right now..
still at there waiting...
what can I do now?? hmmmm
just wait~~~~~

Hurm~~ can it be solve?

2010-05-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

Recently many things happen again..
OMG~~~~
I am stress toward my work and my relationship..
Hmmm...
Some time does she really understand me..
Alright , last night have a conflict again..
Oh gosh ,
I am tired wit my work , stress and everything
but cant she just entertain me?
Alright , something has past and settle just let it be..
hope she really get what I tell her on 30/4/2010..
Just now have something again..
I let her have tea wit fren and meet up..
but she till now also don get that I don like
she go out wit guy...
cant she just understand it...
I tell her how I feel all that,
but she just like feel is fine for her..
Haiz...
I don like the feeling at all that she alway mention guys name..
I am jealous but she still wan to do so..
alway tell me have a girl company while going den at last tell me no..
the girl is not coming along..
I was like.. cant u think of my feeling pls..
How do u feel is I do that to u..
I go out wit a girl ....
What would u think about me..
just now , I was nicely talk to her ,
but she not happy and answer back me..
I was totally down and just forget it...
u enjoy up wit that fren ba..
I feel like not to care or just ignore it..
She dono wat I am feeling at all..
Just forget it la...
She won change or understand me ,
if she still remain on what she wan den she will do..
I am tired to tell out my feeling or how i think anymore..
I feel that I would bored and lazy to say it already..
repeat and repeat...
She wan to do so I have no right...
feeling is on me and not on her...
she won know how does it feel
till I did and she tries it..
I don wish it will happen one day ,
but if she keep on do so ,
I am afraid ,
I will take my responsibility to do what I wan
without thinking about her feeling..
previously I avoid this and that ,
I care and understand her ,
becoz I wan she to know i respect and care her feeling..
I don hope the day Would come upon to us..

Is has bad feeling toward it...

2010-04-23T21:13:00.001+08:00

Hmmm recently many things happen..
Many small argument or fight..
becoz of certain den we can start to fight..
I try to avoid and be what I can ,
but is still problem there...
Last night had a argument..
She lastly post up wat I say toward her..
Hurm~~~
She scold me before on what I write in previous ,
but she end up post as well..
I feel that I am moody and sad ...
I feel sorry toward her
but
she start to ignore it..
her blog even written that,
cant 2 group out..
either me or them..
I feel that ,
is that what my gf should said??
Haiz..Just feel different and dislike..
today fight again about a phone..
some time she din really think about me..
We be dated for tomorrow dates,
but
she suddenly told me she could
FFK me and go for her blackberry phone..
I was freaking upset and I don feel good..
Is that phone are much more important than our date??
she may be dono tomorrow is 24 of april..
the 4 month we are being together..
Did she ever feel what is my feeling and thinking..
hurm!!!
is she so forgetful , or don't about it??
Haiz , I feel freaking sad now...
why she keep on forget think of my behalf..
what I did is wrong???
What I think for her is wrong??
or I shouldn't do all this to her???
I am alway ready be wit her when she had problem and sad,
but she din even tell me and don wan to share wit me..
Am I so no value to share wit??
Or am I not the person should ask and know??
Hmmm...
I am there alway so that she won being left out ,
but I think what is extra..
she have her family and fren..
may be doesn't need me..
can she just simply and easy toward me....
I am blank and no idea about what is going on...
I don dare to ask becoz , I got scolded just now..
I dono wat is it , and she just cut off my line..
Is already twice she doing that..
yea , she have the right to do so...
I cant say anything even though i am sad n dislike it...
fine!~ I don wish to get more upset...
just calm down myself and sit alone at my room...
remain the silence~~~~

U don understand Or I don get it??

2010-04-19T01:15:00.000+08:00

Sometime feel that there are many thing I will miswrap..

She or me dono wat we wan

I am creating problem??

I start to feel that some time we are totally blur

wat is happen toward a situation..

OH man...

Am I to stress or am I mad???

I dono why I some time feel she

doesnt care or take it seriously

but sometime she tell me , she do so...

So wat actually is going on?

She don understand or I don understand??

haiz..

everytime when dicussing ,

then she left , becoz is a fucking timing..

tat is mid night when wan to sleep....

take it easy bro ,

I know I could be better becoz I must keep improve..

so work hard and time to sleep..

good nitez...

lazy to argue or discuss..

just let it be~~~~~

Is tired and annoying...

2010-04-11T18:28:00.000+08:00

So damn long I din update..
and now is time..
hehe
Working for 2 week more..
I found out tat work as sales for credit card is not easy...
I don get much sales nowadays..
Is tough le..Hmmm
I am so so tired and stress nowaday..
exam is around the corner and start getting more stress...
not only study , my usage on money are much too..
I have to save up and learn to more saving jor..
__________________________________________
Hmmm recently many things start happen..
although there are lot of space to improve,
but dono why I keep of angry of myself..
I will start to fat lan za toward myself...
I don really can stand much..
hmmm...
Finally argument slowly come ...
I actually can stand it but is to over...
the same problem came again..
alway say different thing and do different things again..
I feel tat u should be more responsible de ma..
Don alway like play har play har and dono wat happening..
Sometime is to over jor...
think the effect and causes ma...hmmm
Not I wanted to scold ,
but pls be responsible on wat u are talking about...
don be tat kind of bad attitude...
i know u wan freedom , i ok wit that
but u also have to know wat to do and how to do...
don alway wan ppl remind or say...
Okay...i did extra work and lebih..
care u and worried u is wrong one...
i shouldnt do that...
I am lebih jor...
sorry lo.. okay..from today onward,
u like wat , how or anything I also won care...
that is.. i no comment and speechless...

cannot being force but can try....

2010-03-31T01:12:00.000+08:00

this morning have a morning class..
hmmm so tired la man...hehe
After class went to gym..
Not having a good sleep becoz think alot of thing..
hmmm why do so le..
At gym there i have learn something from my fren..
knowing tat there are many thing cannot be do at one time..
need time and do it slowly..
same as myself being a person..
i know there are many thing have changes...
i need to try more hard lo..
it take times too..
so everything have to follow orders lo..haha
Today many thing has happen..
I go work , get one sales ,
meet up my ex boss and talk something..
den when to T.S...
wao...
She is there wo...haha
so just join up and have a short walk together..
urm... let me knew something new again..
i know tat i grow up again...
many thing I seen is totally different..
I now start to do observation den only decide wat to say and do...
Although I am joke but I joke it properly..
I make some fren tat is my colleague..
they are so nice ,
so I feel happy to work wit them..
although there are coming from different character and style,
but I know ,
everything I also can suit and learn..
I don wan like last time doing nothing and know nothing..
I getting grow up ,
I am 19 but I have 21 thinking..
be truth to everyone and don ask for good back..
Tat my thinking now..
I wan to show everyone and U ,
I am different since i am awake...
So tomorrow after work , go get sales
and start work..
GoGoGo~~~~ I must work hard on it..
Money money money...
Thurs let go club..
Let me rock the club life again...hehe

mixture stories~~~~

2010-03-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

Today wake up early in the morning..hehe
Get prepare to college and work...
hmmm dono why she meet up me just like stranger..
so let me make the better solve..
have dinner at night...hehe
afternoon rushing to bank and meet customer..
work at sales really not easy..hmmm
At night yam cha wit them..
Oh everything is change...
although we are not couple ,
but we still enjoy happiness like last time..
I not holding her hand becoz I am not her bf,
but I still care like a bf should do...
may be people will laugh me stupid ,
but I know , I still remain the same currently...
talk and joke like previous but different status..
We all plan to go a trip even...hehe
_____________________________________

After many incident..
I really know tat , changing myself not easy...
same to last time I change her..
but I slowly wanted myself to better..
start to concern more and understand before i said..
Think before I talk and change myself to more polite..
Don stop someone which they wan to do beside bad stuff..
Working at bank make my attitude change..
Wearing formal even show myself are different status..
so I have to be better..
Nowaday she look strange already..
attitude totally change...
may be she also grow up already..
but playful also...hehe
Plan to go club again wit all fren..
this time is classmate..
She tell me about one guy..
Oh~~~
I know it...
may be is something or nothing..
but I don wish to know becoz I will jealous..
I cant stand it , tat why i will keep divert..
but is useless , becoz it remain in my mind..
It upset but nothing I can do..
For her happiness ,
I can just give her my best blessing..
becoz may be I am not the one she need ,
or I am the one which hurt her de most...
I know there are no changes or chances anymore..
U just wan happiness and enjoyment wit her..
She is alway in my mind...
Once I lost something very precious to me ,
I really regret , but I won lost it if I have it one day..
Just enjoy the day we have and kept the happy moment
we have~~~
There is more than enough...
I don dare to request more...

I get it~~~~I really get it...

2010-03-28T15:41:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...
Last night I been waiting the all night long..
I am too lebih jor...
worried so much and care so much..
wait till i cant stand it den just like tat...
it end up wit nothing..
no mean no...
cannot being force..
I thought there is chance
but actually is no...
I still wait...
Now really everything makes clear..
She still like tat think me
den I have to just accept lo..
Everyone in the world can think me din do anything..
But I really change and did it..
but she lastly think me still the same..
she say something which really make me feel tat..
okay!!
That fine..
end up like that , why still wan to think of it...
Just keep for myself...
try to recover and love but is fail..
muahahahaahha..
so damn fish lo...
enough already , I have to wake up and see the fact..
I now still young..
Many thing I still dono and don understand..
Tired on it le la..
it lame man..hohohoho...
ok la.. enough jor la..
stop loving and caring..
is time to let us do our own activity..
sad while but getting better ,
feeling crying but not doing at all..
wat to do is just be myself lo..
don " jaga tepi kain orang lain " jor..
I think of moving to PV3 ..
current room have some memoris
so have to forget it...hehe
it time to delete all the message ,
picture and memoris...
don wan to have a regret chances..hehe
______________________________________
Something I had read is interesting..
男生永远不懂，为什么女生会那么的依赖你，那是因为她把你当做她的唯一，最信赖的人。男生永远不懂，为什么女生在你不给她打电话的时候会很生气，因为她想要听到你的声音，感觉你的疼爱。男生永远不懂，女生为什么会爱生气，因为她只是想要你来哄她，回味你们之间的温存。男生永远不懂，女生怎么那么爱吃醋，那是因为她爱你，而容不下一点你给其他女生的任何一点温柔。男生永远不懂，为什么女生爱唠叨让你少抽烟，少喝酒，女生也知道那不可能，但是她担心你的身体。男生永远不懂，女生怎么那么多的眼泪，那是因为她将所有的委屈都化做泪水，而把所有的温柔都留给你。男生永远不懂，女生愿意为你东奔西跑、为你做很多事，只是因为爱...
Last time I dono , but now I know..
yuan lai previous got someone do this to me before ,
but I din appreciate... and it gone..
if there is someone doing the same to me ,
I think i will more more appreciate..
Current status : single but not available..
muahahahahhahaha....
lastly , I wish to thank to many of my fren...
Really thank you coz caring me so much ,
concern and help me alot...
Dono how to thanks but just written it here..
Even to my ex gf...
Thank you for doing so much ,
I dono how to apprecaite it previous ,
but now I understand ..
some word I din say before an admit,
but now I would say ,
I am sorry and thank you very much..

2 am...still nothing...

2010-03-28T02:05:00.001+08:00

Is already 2 am..
I still not yet sleep...
hmm...
waiting someone to return call or sms..
is worried there ,
but nothing can do just wait..
just hope she fine and safe..
I feel like sleeping jor..
oh gosh..
so tired...
hmm... is she fine at there???
hahahahaha..
okay de la...
just wait her reply den I go sleep ...
Am I right???
Just wait here...
My phone got rang but not from her...
Quite missing and worried...
Normally should be end de ba~~~
hmmmm!!
Don worried.. she will be fine ,
trust on her...hahahahahaha
Yesterday wait me till 3..
Same as me for today..
wat she do is to much..
I have to repay..
Although is nothing between us..
but
I understand myself..

Don repeat the same .....

2010-03-27T18:31:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...
lastly also know jor de luu..
Although everything is settle and understand..
but is totally different..
Everything has change and is look different..
last night ,
I went to clubbling...
At there I dance for quite long and I saw many things
and experience many thing I din realise which can put in dating line..
I know one thing is trust..
But
althought know this is no use becoz is to late..
how hard how tough i work on it ,
It also no use at all..
becoz
She know I know...
I din write here becoz is T and C..
Hmmm...
I use to care and concern ,
not becoz is something i usually do ,
is becoz the feeling is still there..
missing , care , love , understand and trust..
but even know last 2 day I realise also now use..
everything come to late...
I din blame anyone or say any others
becoz I did it wrong on before...
I apologize becoz I know I wrong..
I cant be forgive becoz is reasonable..
Know the cause and effect is good
but have to scarifice something lo...
so from now on have to work hard lo...
study and work ...GoGoGo~~~
dating the thing...let it be ba..
when there are fate , it will meet the end..haha
____________________________________
today first day on ground training...
wah is a tough job for me , but i know one thing..hehe
Is challenging but I like it...
Today I get 3 platinum customer..
hmmm dono it approve or not,
but feel happy becoz got sales la..
don wan request much , try my best den can..
I know if try my best , I can get alot!!
LMao!!!!!....
thanks to jerry giving such good work..
I wil work hard..
I receive a call from Citibank..
Wao~~~~
Ask to go work wo..
but to bad la...
I already work at UOB bank..
hmmm Work longer and see first ba..hehe
Good luck in work and coming exam..
got to study lo...hehehehehe

Doom already...

2010-03-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

Today is a very sad day for me..
many thing has really happen...
I feel very suffer this whole day..
Lastly at the afternoon we have discussion..
Yes I know ,
I know the ending..
How much i say is already turn to history jor..
cannot recover already...
I also nothing to say just be happily ....
I know I cant..
but I have too...
I have to work and go office..
I have to face ppl...
I use very happy moment to talk to her..
but I have a small accident..
I beng on a girl car...
I feel very sorry to her becoz I don realise even she hon me..
Hmmm....
i keep on apologize...
At last she forgive..
thanks a lot...
my mood was damn upset..
but I have to make myself clear ,
Don take personal emotion to work...
So I fully in on my work..
today meet up my few colleague..
hmmm although everyone is older den me
but I feel fine..
i know I can use to it...
mixing new fren are good things as well..
I am the youngest boy again in a company..
aiyo..
bored le..
no young boy and girl...hmmmm
Today have a long briefing..
so tough but I have to work hard..
dono why after work so missing someone..
but I know , I cant do tat anymore..
My heart feel lose up...
but one thing I have to know..
We have to grow up...
I know I am wrong , but is unforgiveness...
haiz!!!!
accept the fact and I have to be happy..
just now out dinner wit yong yong..
talk a lot my thing...
haiz...
I been waiting for 10 pm..
but i know there are no hope...
wat the horoscope tell me are actually real..
i try my best , but the end is same result...
So i just take it the fact..
becoz I know forcing is no good ending..
hmmm
I just keep happily chat wit her...
Although there are joke..
but for me now is ,
as long she happy ,
I also will happy...
I already don wan to be wit any girl..
becoz after this i know ,
i am not mature jor...
I to over into myself and din think of my behalf feeling...
Really sorry and have to apologize..
hmmm but everything is been happen..
wat she say is , regret also no use..
1 is better than 2...
so I have to accept her decision..
As fren , have to date her out for breakfast lo..
fren ma... so boh bian lo...
sudah biasa , although is have the feeling to be together,
but wat she wan to do she will tell me straight..
I also have no comment so just make it as frens...
currently , have to work ,
everything is very stressful for me,
Argh!!!!
nowaday , many many problem happen
so I have to solve it slow slowly...
(KITZ) U can geh I know..
same as you , take care urself properly..
No one will ngam you or scold u from now on..
you are you , me are me....
To you:
Nothing I can say or do already..
I can is support u and helping when u needs.
I will be ur first 1 if u have problem..
I will stand infront u to protect u.
care u and look after you...
Although we are nothing ,
but I know tat we cant have further
but I still can do all this to you ,
becoz I still LIKE you~~~

I have somethings , but I doesnt owns it!

2010-03-24T19:10:00.000+08:00

Last night it been a terrible fight...
We argue through and through till I am mad of it...
haiz...
I cant stand it...
Hmmm... from the begining ,
she already wan to say tat 2 word..
I know it...
but just dono why she din do so..
Dono why i don feel like saying..
I already feel myself no more value already ,
priceless and no status anymore..
she din even care my feeling at all already..
Wat can I do actually???
Leave or remain...
I feel like ,
can being together but cant understand each other..
why???
lack of communication and understanding...
may be girls don really know think about guy side..
Wat a guy really need and should have...
Yea , should be fair and square..
but there should have a space ba!!!
even though come to fair and square also blank geh!!
Haiz , becoz she din even fair to me..
Dono wan how and do wat jor...
_____________________________________
Just morning wake up din go class..
din get any call or message..
I was totally upset and lying on the bed!!!
My heart turn so damn sour!!
I am so sad and speechless...
she is a stone and I am a ice!!!
She is harder den me alot!
I really raise up my white flag right now..
Is enough.. I cant stand it..
At the moment..
I feel like seperate ,
but
I was driving to interview...
I am being comfirm to work~
driving alone to somewhere I dono,
sitting the train alone to body check up!!!
I am upset and alone..
In tat moment , i reach kl..
some place which I din went before..
is totally new to me..
but wit my brave , I walk and search...
I finally found the clinic..
I have my body check up and is done..
I feel like calling her and tell the everything..
but dono I feel like , just give her a chance..
I made up a call ask the situation and talk
but I am upset ing..
When to KLCC alone...
walk all along the shop lot and made a call again..
We had an argument again...
Oh gosh...
She finally scold me up!!!
I did nothing wrong just a midunderstood..
den she start shooting me..
On tat period , i just feel like scolding her and just break it..
but
what happen to my heart and mouth..
My mind is thinking of scolding and break...
but dono why I cant speak it out...
I am still in her!!!
Oh gosh...
Hmm give her the last chance and she promise to change..
Yea I am sad..
but
wat to do????
boh bian!! the fact is not the time yet..
I still in love wit someone which normally guy cant stand it...
I know tat , there are alway a changing point if we wait!!
I know mostly are useless,
but I belive in her ....
still belive and still belive...
there are something different...
I hope the feeling I had just now won appear anymore..
becoz I am really tired to go on other girls...
I wan steady and happiness...
Do wat I can , insist wat I can...
hope the understand me , and willing to scarifice for me..
I can , I hope she also can!!
coming day , I will be very busy already..
I have no time to company anyone..
I wish the time I have , would enjoy nicely..
becoz , coming day will be a tough day for us..
I don wish to be a upset life..
I know my bad attitude very well,
but
I start to change..
becoz , working at outside and having a gf
is not easy...
everything have to think first ,
so I hope she understand me again!!
may god bless her , family and me..
All the best~~~

What has happen????

2010-03-24T00:41:00.000+08:00

I don't what has happen upon me...
I feel that everything has change so suddenly..
Why I will do so????
I don't le..
Previously I don allow to do many thing
don allow to go out or some place..
but i suddenly change my mind..
Am I getting no feel or I really change..
is it as like what lena say to me..
from sweet toward sour..
but
wat I currently feel are still okay..
am I to mad of it???
or i really understand de concept..
seeing her everyday ,
is really make me feel everything is colourful,
although there are bad feeling or sad..
but it will turn to happy as soon she smile..
day by day ,
I feel that I start to keep changing...
try to see everything more positive...
Just let go and trust onward..
I don hunger for more...
just loyal , love and care...
may be u are a special gift..
I had change much onward u..
Is there th actual reason??
or is what i feel currently...
There are many argument and misunderstood recently..
I am too tired on it already...
I should not put what I wan toward her..
haiz , so everything just let it be..
I don feel like to say a word anymore..
hope she understand me as well...
Although I am not partly of her family...
and fren too..
hahahahahahahaha
but what can I do??/
just accept lo...hehe
just make sure enjoy and appreciate each other lo...
Wat I can say is......
totally in deep in it and hope to see further..
understand each other well and have goods day...
I will the best as I can...
All the best towards myself...
hope there are something different toward it..hehehehez

something I insist , I mean it...

2010-03-23T01:39:00.000+08:00

Everything I can give way and understand..
but some time there are things which I cant give way...
Not becoz of certain things or reason..
Is what I will look toward myself and u...
I feel tat I cant forgive not becoz of tat small reason..
is just tat I don wan too...
I really don wan u to be in there..
Becoz I cant even pass through myself there..
Lucky u tell me early...
if not the ending would be very troublesome..
I not selfish or wat,
But I have my own reason...
I don wan mean I don wan...
Mostly of it can but really certain I really cant...
I don allow go club I really mean it..
Since many incident happen to my fren...
I am afraid..
Although there many safety reason...
but is still unsafe...
I can be very mean on something I have promise too...
I say I promise den I mean it...
I wan u to know tat ...
wat is my baseline...
I don wan to have arguement if
really unexpected happen..
tat time , regret also no use!!!

Today Feelings....

2010-03-21T02:16:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...
Just now night go have tea wit fren...
So long din meet up my fren..
jack , ren , keong , wai and Cha gor!! hehe
Old schoolmate..
Once a while meet them is damn happy..hehe
Dono why suddenly feel missing...
I think to long we din meet up ba..haha
Jack bring a long his gf...
Hmm is a leng lui for other ppl ,
But
I prefer my leng lui gf more!!
Suddenly feel missing and worried..
make a call toward her when receive message..
Hmmm.....
Dono why suddenly feel I am fine and cant joke again!!!
Is tat call when sad thing come occur,
Wat we do also sad ,
but
when happy things happen,
everything turn happy???
No la..
I love my GF so I do so...
Although there are many thing happen..
But
once put aside , I think is a happy moment..
Dono why I will show off my Gf and tell them..
Showing them photo and tell them about her..
I think I am deeply in it..
But many thing has happen recently..
I wish to solve but there are question mark????
Haiz!!!
suddenly feel blank again about the problem..
I feel like is gone away and I am fine back..
May be I hear about Jack had arguement just now..
he told me they argue when going back...
Coz jack lie her tat he attend class but go watch movie..
Hmm in that moment..
I suddenly feel tat I am very lucky
becoz i din lie my gf and tell her everything..
She even treat me good and nice..
Although there are behavior I don like,
But I won mad for long time...
Hmmm..
Looking at the wallet picture..
suddenly feel that , I am bit wrong toward something..
I feel to say "sorry"...
but it not allow to say it...
We 2 are tired enough...
The path we have pass through are suffer enough..
I wish to go one nicely..
I don wan to regret what I have
and Wat I was given right now...
May be I am too insist on certain matter..
becoz I wish to have a better changes..
We dono wat will happen tomorrow..
but hope to have a great day!!
We alway have nothing to say...
wat actually going on!!
I dono at all...
Hmmm.....
I have to slow down and talk nicely..
We have a good discussion before..
it good but is not enough..
I think I have to communicate more wit her..
I am tired of being cold war and cold conversation..
Phew!!!
Is around 2 am more..
i still not sleep yet..
I am not tired...
hope tomorrow when I wake up is a good day~~
Be a nice and good morning...
call up my baby and change the feeling..
Everything can be better if we understand..
good day!!
I won give up my SECOND chance!!!!

Don't why speechless

2010-03-20T17:32:00.000+08:00

Last night , something has happen..
I written a lot and sleep late..
This morning I wake up around 2.
I realize everything has change..
Previous is not but now is..
My phone not ranging n is sound weird.
Hmmmm
I send a message and make a call
but it sound weird..
I dono wat to say.....
I am blank and look different.
I feel like I am out of bound.
Is she not more on my side??
or Wat is happening to me is an illusion..
I sleep again and wake up at 5something..
I send a short message and make a call again..
Still remain the same as well..
Nothing to talk and speechless...
She is wit her family at shop
but I am lying on bed..
She is busy wit her stuff...
I just facing up the ceiling.
Where are the previous and before...
Oh , everything has change and different...
Hmmm...
Just eat my biscuit and watch tv ba..
I think my phone won ever rang again..

It been broken...

2010-03-19T23:42:00.000+08:00

I though from the beginning ,
all the perception are being change,
but I today only know there are not..
I suddenly start to drop tears...
This afternoon I hear a news from my sister
about my family..
something has totally happen .....
I was being sad
But
Wat I hear just now is add up more sad..
tear are hanging over my eye and drop trough my cheek..
I already cant stand it...
My family come first as well her..
I take her as one of my family...
but Wat I am to her??
I Don really know since she talk few minutes ago..
I cant stand it , about wat I hear from the 2 side..
I am beng kui right now..
Wat I did from beginning till now is useless...
How much is the feeling how much is de love
are actually de same..
I already lose one of my lovest family member
Now came de second one.....
What the use of being such nice...
My heart is broken....
My family is broken..
I dono wat to do anymore...
I am tired and blanks...
I am totally lost...
I think I have enough...
Is out of my mind already...
Don wan to care , don wan to talk
don wan discuss , don wan to say anymore..
nothing else to say and is the end..
is turn up to an fullstop.....
I am speechless and no more comment...
The world still turning even without me..
I am freaking out of the living lane
and I hate it so so so much!!!!
I HATE THE FUCKING FEELING!!!!
TOTALLY UNFAIR!!!!!!
IS FREAKING SUCK!!!

I am tired to repeat...

2010-03-19T01:46:00.000+08:00

Hmmm...
many things has happen recently..
exspecially me and her...
There are joy but there are sadness too...
Haiz!!
Everytime I wan to discuss something...
there are many reason or something happening...
Watching video , chatting or something la...
I feel like , Oh gosh..
I am tired to talk already...
Is there no 1 time is suitable for me to talk???
Actually many thing is not I wan to complain
but is just tat U know wat the actually happening..
Ignore or avoid is not solving the problem...
I am afraid 1 day I would cause arguement...
I cant stand it that everything is being twist and turn..
I am absolutely tired..
I think I have done to much..
I change my personality,
Style , atittude , thinking and way to caring...
But is there no solution at all...
A person character cannot being change
but can learn be better...
I am so so tired in it already...
Try to think and be the better one..
but wit one hand ,
it cant make any sound...
many thing I say I don wan and don allow..
but is she aware of it??
haiz....
I suddenly feel so speechless to talk...
Feel like cooling down myself for few hours..
I am in a unthinkable path....
where should I go and what should I do???
She is not wit me , So the problem is still unsolve..
try to recover and be better...
But I hope I will burst on one day...
I feel tat the situation would be damn suffer n sad...
Don hope the day would can N
I don wish to have the day which
I FEEL SORRY to each of everyone
exspecially me and her!!
I wish U could know me ,

Wat I wan , wat I think
Wat I wan to discuss
and wat I actually do to you..
I don wan to have such bad feeling
which I having right now...
I am sad and moody..
becoz U didnt know
Wat I wan from my gf
To miss Soh Soh
Haiz Haiz Haiz

Is tat really tough??

2010-03-17T21:30:00.000+08:00

I start to hate my 3 sem timetable..
everything has change..
wat the shit!!!
Now is getting lame and lame..
but no choice...
I have to study jor
coz I got one resit paper..
haiz!!!
I think I cant fail anymore..
I have to study more and more now..
Dono why keep on not feeling till now..
I been not feeling well more than 1 week jor..
OMG..
Suffer la man..
hope to recover soon..
_____________________________________
Last night had a short arguement wit her...
She seen to do everything n just ignore me...
Not I don allow her to out but she say different and do different..
okay!! I feel tat 'just let it be'..
today she say something to me ...
ask me not to care to much about her stuff...
I got stund and like.........
speechless~~~
I am just trying to caring and caring..
but may be she don wan so...
So wat I can do it from now on..
let her be...
I feel like if I do on so ,
I will argue wit her soon...
May be I am over on her ,
I shouldnt do so anymore..
wat she wan to do just do so...
I shouldnt angry and worried so much...
becoz since she has grown up...
I even have the no right to control
as thier family don do so...
Hmmm
suddenly just feel i am lost!!
why suddenly she would say so..
I din even imagine tat
but I can blame coz I mayb I am over jor...
Haiz!!
As long she happy , don make me feel irritating
den okay le ba!!! hmmm
_____________________________________
Sometime she has reason on certain things,
I try to understand , but is not suddenly can accept
Just tat , she has many thing I still dono and she don wan to share!!
Is tat things she need to hide from me .....
I dono and I ask but she din tell me....
May be she has her own reason...
I hope tat everything she tell me and share wit me...
but this may be could take time...
I was trying the best for her...
being good to everyone and change..
but she willing to do so for me???
I wish to ask , but I think so 1 thing..
as long I still trust her...
everything is really worth for me...
Just maintain and try my best to be better...

I am absolutely don like the way it is....

2010-03-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

This few day I am totally down
and not feel good...
I wish someone is there wit me
but end up myself...
My result is out and not reallly good..
I dono why I can do such bad..
I feel that is to bad for me..
I should work hard...
_________________________________________

I dono why she cant understand me...
Dono how to seperate joke and serious..
Everything is being combine??
It will going more problematic soon..
I try to avoid problem and arguement
but cant U see wat is happening now?
Many thing has come upon me..
I am sick for few day already..
it haven been recover..
becoz of you~~~
I done a lot...
Same u done alot to me..
I am very tired..
I need someone to hear and understand me..
U cannot being blame
becoz U know nothing..
I am trying to prevent
and I hope U understand me more...
Caring and communicate
is wat we should carry on..
If not communicate we dono ,
is no caring we don have feeling...
U have hard time I understand
I take care,
I also wish tat when my hard time
u are there wit me...
This few day I am really hot tempered..
May be of sick so I cant stand anything..
Anything which start my fire den I will scold..
I in the evening didnt mean to scold u
just that , when I talk u din really focus..
I just accidently scold...
But is not the first time..
I just feel tat if u busy ,
u done ur stuff first...
I just don wan feel like 'fu hin'
this is wat I think ..
May be u are not wat I am thinking..
but the feeling keep coming..
I don feel like we are keeping quite..
even when on phone or meeting up..
becoz is like I talk and otherside no reply..
It start to stop communicate..
I afraid u don understand me
as well as me...
this is wat I previous had...
I don wish to repeat so I keep talking..
but I afraid if keep on like tat,
1 day I am tired ,
I will stop talking since tat day onward..
I didnt mean to change you
but hope u learn wat U can and u should..
U have ur right to think before u do..
I won scold or complaint about anything
becoz in my heart :
"I love You"
So I wish there are understanding
and
Loving between each of us..
Writing all tis is not complain
Just wat u to understand wat I am feeling now..

Is a happy but turn to suffer day...

2010-03-11T00:22:00.000+08:00

Yesterday when to sing k wit classmate..
celebrate few kaki de big day..haha
I feel my throat going to sore soon
but I still sing...haha
OMG!!!
I am dead de la...haha
Err after tat , night Go dinner wit few new fren
such as e wei , ah ling , all tat la...haha
all jie jie..
before tat go visit and help them close shop..
OMG ...
I feel like grastic jor last night..
I aroun 10 something to 11 only eat..
shit man...
I cant stand it..
is totally f***ing pain la wei..
After tat they decide to go for a drink..
When to solaris Mont Kiara...
Order and blue magarita...
Oh no...so long din drink alcohol..
Drink back I feel like headache..
Den send everyone home and My turn to home..
Tat day should be a nice and happy day
but becoz grastic and headache..
I feel like dying man...
I reach home , faster bath and sleep..
My head is damn pain and my stomach too..
I sleep till 6 am , suddenly no current..
I was force to wake up.
Oh my!!
MY head is damn damn pain..
feel like cracking la..
Aduh!!!Shit man..
But today still feeling better
after go out and eat at fren shop..haha..
___________________________________
Show off a bit...haha
My fren tell me some funny joke..
My fren mom ask who am I??
Dey ans fren la , but then her mom say who don chase our home the daughter..
Coz I am not bad ma...haha
When i hear it, I was like..
hohohohohohohohoho
SI beh happy wo...haha
same as just now evening at fren shop eat ...
her dad praise me...hahahaha...
Tat sound happy to..
although is not feeling well but is happy too geh..
thanks to someone and to other one!! haha

Why and What can I do???

2010-03-06T01:37:00.000+08:00

Nowaday everything has come back..
OMG....
problem pun sudah balik..
That day stop working
and is keep on study and relax..
Dono what too me keep on think a lot...
Yesterday wear quite cool
but din snap photo..
Aiya!!
rugi jor..
Hmmm
But also facing some problem la..
Yesterday night having dinner wit few fren
den go sing k!!
Hoho..
Is time for me to perform already..
Haha.. damn cool..
I sing a lot of song..
hohohoho...
Sing till 3 am den balik..
____________________________________

Now evrything between us look like settle..
but does it done??
Facing daily is quite wat geh..
Hmmm
SUdah balik and balik..
U sping my head right now right now!
Oh... kesian..
sudah ending punya part...
Klimak is interesting
but
I din get the point well
somemore is does not look real one..
Everything is face to face better
but I think won ba..
Am I day dreaming???haha
Sot jor la me..
think to much!!!
When is the day??? 2012
I also dono wat I am writing..
Ignore it ba..haha
end of the world a...haha...

It totally complicated....

2010-03-04T03:03:00.002+08:00

What I am nowaday...
I totally feel annoying..
I dono why , becoz is totally different..
recently I keep on do wrong thing..
I dono what actually happen to me..
why a why???
Why I will face all this kind of new problem ...
I really good luck because all my past problem is done
I am lost and I totally dono wat to do....
So just think of don worried be happy...

红豆（方大同）

2010-03-03T13:36:00.004+08:00

还没好好地感受

雪花绽放的气候
我们一起颤抖
会更明白什么是温柔
还没跟你牵着手
走过荒芜的沙丘
可能从此以后学会珍惜
天长和地久
有时候有时候
我会相信一切有尽头
相聚离开都有时候
没有什么会永垂不朽
可是我有时候
宁愿选择留恋不放手
等到风景都看透
也许你会陪我看细水长流
还没为你把红豆
熬成缠绵的伤口
然后一起分享
会更明白相思的哀愁
还没好好地感受
醒著亲吻的温柔
可能在我左右
你才追求孤独的自由
_____________________________________

I think in previous I know What I should do
but actually dono at all...
I think I have left out something
but I think is really time to let it fate..
I been very tired already..
I cant stand it and make a good way for us..
I don wan u and me worried and fan again..
Becoz of me U would fan a lot...
I don wan to make u get hurt or annoying..
May be You think I am not worth for u to fan and find a solution..
Sorry if I think so...
let everyone happy include u as well..
Thanks for u sister would take u for me..
she may be would care u more den me..
I need a breath at outside...
but if there we are fate , there are turning point...
all the best and take care...
I hope that I don have to worried u much
becoz U have grown up..
Thanks for everything..
All the best and bless the best wish to u..
Let the god to decide..
Don feel guitly, becoz U did ntg wrong to me..
All the problem is cause from me..
Hope u understand what I say to you~~~
Be hpppy and enjoy the tiger year..Raw!!!!

Feeling is blue right now!!

2010-03-02T00:46:00.000+08:00

I feel blur right now...
I dono why I feel....
may be I do a cruel decision to myself..
Give it up and forget it...
Don pull and slow down people becoz of me...
dono why my roommate suddenly drop tear
it make me feel so...
May be I am to "naive" to think there are solution..
but
from begining there is just at the ending..
Am I gonna stay here becoz of this...
I dono and don dare to think about it...
I sms her and tell I am willing let her go..
but do I really mean it..
Seeing her happy is something good also..
I willing be the one who scarifice...
Seeing her being strong is nice enough...
See her is healthy is much more happy ....
So I have to go away from this lane...
I bukan sahaja tak ada peluang,
malah saya tak ada jodoh...
no matter how much I do~~~~
It doesnt give any effect!!
from this second on..........
I must must must ........
hohohohoho...
all the best and congrate..
________________________________________

My fren also giving me problem becoz I not in relationship wit it..
I am being force?? hohoho...
so lc oh..haha
but if accept jor people den sei jor...
becoz , not feeling cant stay long...
haha...
i am show-ing off...hehe
But i think I feel like wat it not belong to me and i shouldnt touch..
Treat people good is give us more benefit..
I shouldnt be so calculate already la..
haiz... jia you!!! be good to others
and don hope for anything...
I am 19 , I must grow much more mature...
Don think jor...
WE understand each other since yesterday conversation..
hohohohoho...
good nitez!

Happy but worried~~~

2010-02-28T02:18:00.000+08:00

I am happy coz of a reply,
I know there are some good thing may be could happen..
Although is happy before but dono why feel worried...\
Everything has change...
She is much mor stronger and pretty compare to previous..
Me is getting far and far from it...
May be is me think to much but
May be wat I am thinking is right also..
There are chances and time being give but
It could be rejected as well...
Till now I still caring and concern about wat happening..
Still worried and care..
But there are only limited becoz we are just ......
I hope there is a hope and chance!!!
But when is it??hahahaha
I wish to try be the man
and wish is a secret between us...
but as a tunnel love ,
Normally it won happen
becoz it need more time...
Wat can do is just give time and understanding...
being coold and relax is wat should I do
but does it really work????
Hahahaha... hope we got a solution..
hoho!!
__________________________________________
Coming is monday and I have to start work..
I must try to work harder becoz I lost money jor...
HNGH~~!
I hate gamble jor..
wat the......
Work hard la... that money i lose is previous I win de..
so suan la...
I am much more patience and understanding already..
Time , chance , and fate...hehe
Fate ada , just wait time and chance....
hahahahahaha....
I belive u can , I belive I success...
All the best and try our best!!!

Blur and missing!!!

2010-02-26T00:54:00.000+08:00

Last night dono why cant sleep well..
I know today I have morning class..
but dono why keep on thinking on 1 thing..
Is tat so important??
I dono at all.. I don have answer..
This morning rush to college and study till 9..
I am so tired!!
but no choice! this is the challenge i going to meet up~~~
I have to work and study..
Hmmm..
So I have to be strong and healthy enough!!
I hope I would be bless to do so...

I feel like I wan to put private becoz I wish
I could write down everything wat I wan say..
__________________________________

Dono why this few day start to have conversation..
I keep on go and non-stop..
talk about many of things tat not related to wat I wan to said!
I now only realise tat while everyday what was I thinking..
Is something..
So long already it still there...
Dono why even meet back , I feel that it not even change..
feel like damn sad becoz knowing someon is sick and not feeling well..
But nothing I can do coz I have no right..
I just can take care her by other way!!!!
Bless her healthy and fine...
Dono why suddenly tear are among my eye again~~~
Feeling like something would happen and totally worried..
Hope everything go fine...
Hmmm....
Now there are more and problem start to appear..
Girls really problematic one..
I din even chase people or wat den wan to be wit me..
but I cant.. becoz my heart not on them !!
I cannot do so...
I don wan repeat my past..
Somemore I still in someone...
I don wan get distruct or problem...
Hmmm ,
Today i study till very tired la..
Morning till night..
How to I wan to work wo..haiz..
but no choice.. I work becoz I got reason..
so i have to add oil!!!
Money money money..
Camera camera camera
and
happiness happiness..
bless my fren shaun as well..
all the best..
No free lunch in this world..haha

so unthinkable again!!!

2010-02-24T02:40:00.000+08:00

Dono why already 2 30 still cant sleep..
inside my heart till totally uncomfortable..
is it just now i accidently saw something
which I don wish to see..
Or am I having de wrong thinking and feeling??
I dono why..
I feel that something undropable..
although there are a solution but I din try on it!!
I dono to do..
I feel miserable and unhappy in a moment..
but how long it would stay??
din gai din gai!!!
Din gai I won sei sam tap dei!!
Din gai i wan to think so much
on such impossible matter!!!!
Everything prove that is okay
but I don feel okay at all..
Already few day I been like tat..
I don feel like working at study..
I just feel like sqeeze in a dark room and sleep...
I don wan to meet up people anymore
but
I cant do it becoz I have to survive!!
Why no miracle for me , why no hope for me..
Why so unfair
that everyone have everything
but
I just have nothing!!!
I appreciate for wat I have now but is not enough..
Feel like crying inside my cupboard
but
it just stay along my eye ball~~~
Don feel like let it drop becoz!
i knew that is precious one!
I would be better and better soon..
Today is bad but tomorrow may be better..
hope to change all the way long!!
All the best and luck..
fully wishes myself..
In the name of god ,
Bless me all the path of my life!!!

Rush rush Rush~~~

2010-02-23T22:29:00.001+08:00

Sem 3 jor.. although is 2 sub
but
Is totally JAM & RUSH~~~~
March start work jor..
so I need to finish up my assignment on time!!
gambateh man~~~
cannot delay..
Now everyday also have to work just just sun off..
Aiyo.. lazy tim..
bu no choice..
I wan work for my camera and career de..haha
If work till happy den keep on work de..
but hope I don wan work for broadband lo..
change environment ba!! hehe
Phew.. so work hard ba..
hope get more sales..
Mon to sat work..
but mon to fri study..
aiyao!! mati la this time..hmmm
Boring~~~
Now many thing sudah change lo..
even my timetable too...
Just now rush to college and study...
yeah is happy meet up all my fren..haha
But i not happy becoz meet this kind of lecture..
aiyo.. sibeh boring and lame..
but no choice..
I promise myself jor
once start class den cannot skip..
so march..Go Go Go..
study hard..
Now one day eat one meal ,
go for gym and work jor money and experience!!
ah~~~ hou rush a...
wat also suddenly yong mai lei!!!
Now I also dono how..
Why human must got problem only can de le..haha
but i solve jor lo..
Now is work tat side only..
Grr cannot I must~~
Work Hard
Study Hard
Play Hard
and Enjoy Hard!! haha
camera camera.. I am coming..haha

Solution!!!

2010-02-23T03:25:00.000+08:00

Aduh!!
What happen to me this 2 day a..
Why keep on like mm hoi sam one..
So charm meh..
Still CNY but already mm hoi sam..
Still got one year to go de lo..
Just now go interview!!
Walau eh..
the girl say jor 7 , but reach at 8 something.
when to the office..
meet her upper boss..
wao..I know them..
but they forget me!! haha...
They are event company..
OMG this time I die jor.
I join their event be permanent..
mana tau is broadband..
Aiyo!! sien jor la...
this time also dono how to discuss wit ally!!
suan la..
Try new environment ba!
So lame jor la me...
shake P is tomorrow tomorrow and tomorrow..
but
me is Sorrow sorrow and sorrow!! hahahaha
This so many thing jor..
OK from today on..
Cannot FAN!
How also must solution!! hohohoho..
No money den work..
Work not tally den work harder
Wan better den study hard
girl forget it before I am rich
And still got wat..
Jst fren side lo.
I wit my ex work so fren
now suddenly change wo..sei jor!
nvm.. may be one day we can cooperate..
hope so!! so gambateh!!!
How sad also must be strong..
I know I can change and win!!!
Past is past..Now is now..
go go go!!!

Not really happy!!

2010-02-22T04:14:00.002+08:00

Naw is 4 am!!
Last night play mahjong wit fren...
Err ok la.. not win much but just bit bit..
Hmm
ciht chat wit hanren till aroun 6 morning..
Wao so tired..
This afternoon when to Ts coz ren wan to buy wallet.
den go walk and come home..
rushing to jack house..
Wao win a bit also on poker but dono why not happy also..
Night , my bro all come my house and bai nian and gamble..
madeline can along but dono why feel not really nice at all..
Win alot tonight but the feel tell me that
I am totally down...
my mother side cousin all is here to pray and gamble..
So nice de day still not happy!!!
actually wat i wan today??
Feel that sam lor lor luan..
__________________________________
Yesterday when to "Tian Hou Gong" pray..
I get a charm saying that ,
My past and behind has happen many thing,
I now is totally sad , but
actually is a begining of everything for my future..
So ask me don give up de chance and work for it...
Ask me don go travel wo,
Is totally non-profit...
so i think near near okay la..hehe
Hmm!!
Actually wat is my actual problem...
Something inside still unleaveable..
Although try to put and let it go
but
is still inside.
Why like tat , and why canot like that..
i also dono a! how to answer myself?
Sam si sam si~~~ so many sam sam si si..
Just as the charm say..
happiness after spell of suffering!!!
I very suffer jor..
since de day I know how to walk...
hope can get more happiness...haha
So funny de thing is ,
If i married this year , We would live till the end..
OMG!! so funny..
i also don wan cause people in trouble if I cant stable myself..

Unthinkable!!!

2010-02-20T03:14:00.000+08:00

Today still not recover yet!!
Yesterday night when to Jun keong house~~~
Her mother is totally friendly just like 1 of us..
SO nice and good..
Her mom open a bottle of red wine~~~
Too bad that I din drink becoz I don like alcohol!!!
Hmmm
is a nice night becoz I win almost 200...
but all is fren so i take around 20 buck for them to yam cha!!
den night around 2 reach home and wait ranson come over..
he fetching ar koon and vitturia...
go old town wo..
OMG i am tired
but no choice , they call out i have to follow..
We drive mini coopper!@!!
Is cool man... we speed up to 160km per hours..
is max already coz the car lock engine already..
___________________________________

actually many thing I cant think through..
Why this and that..
Many thing in my mind keep on turning...
I feel that I start to change alot since I am being left out..
hmmm, why use other way to see thing is more different one?
I dono...
Changing is a good thing so that we can learn more
but am I changing through the right way??
Coming sem 3 I think i should look for a part time job..
I think i would stop working for DiGi
and work for others..
So i would upgrade my taste and thinking..
Dono why now start to choose shirt ,
choose shoe , speak eng , use perfume
and try to change my outlook and thinking..
May be NAW I don have anything..
but doesnt mean later I don have..
I now don use branded but one day i will..
Start on perfume and shirt first ba!! hehe
Save money and buy...
I cant afford just like other..
but I know as i earn money.
Wat I wan I can!!!
Am I unthinkable??? haha
Dono right...hehe

CNY sick day

2010-02-18T21:53:00.000+08:00

ARGH!!! hou san fu aRrRR....
Yesterday morning..
Nian chu 4,,,
wah beh tahan jor.. sore throat and flu..
I going cant breath and talk already..
alamak...early morning jump wake up
when to clinic and check up..
hmmm too serious le ba...
At home eat le medicine and rest lo..
I din follow my family go bentong..
Too bad!!!!
At night when to kor shin there...
Sit yellow mini copper to her house lo..
Meet up few fren..hehe
eat dinner together see firework
and most important is gamble!!! haha
saw back my last time best fren justin!!
Oh.. he has gf jor.. haha.. but look so young..hehe
At there win jor siu siu la... below 100 la..haha
Still win de..
after tat rush to "LOOK OUT POINT"
to see view and yam cha!!
Aiya din snap pict time..hehe..
Nvm..Next time ba..
Erm , I now feel that i really need a camera so I can snap down every important moment...
is okay..
At mid night around 1 15 am..
rush back home and go to Pavilion..hehehehe
Date jor another few fren watch the 72 tenant house..
is kinda funny but we are late.
OMG.. miss jor front de..
everytime watch wit them also late de..hmmm
Ok la..reach home eat medicine and chit chat wit fren till 4 to 5 am
den sleep..bubbye..

yesterday and today!!!

2010-02-17T02:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday ,
all my mother side cousin came along..
HOHOHO~~~
We have tuan yuan again...haha
eat all in one table and gamble...
I though we are heading to malaca later
but it been postpone to tues..
so ok la.. nvm la...
So plan to go bentong visit my mother sisters.
After lunch ,

Take some personal pict sin!!!
around 3 pm, we are ready to go...
suddenly my aunty call my dad..
oopp~~
My grandma suddenly cant talk
and it rush to hospital...
everyone was sitting at home and wait!
Hmmm,few hours later,
my dad call...
Grandma is fine just low sugar...
so cancel again lo..
At night when pool wit Nich ,Nich gf N ranson..
After that around 1 am , madeline told me she is back...
so let go for a movie , but late ,
so just go for tea lo.
join up wit her fren too (ah jing)..
is a pretty girl but is keep on talk foul language and smoke..haha
She spoke the foul language damm funny and I din hear before..haha
Back around 4 something to 5...
______________________________
Today~~~~
Morning wake up,
OMG i am damn tired man...
Rushing to malaca...
Aiya , my fren also going there tim!!
Hmm reach there meet up my uncle...hahahaha
Been 2 year I din go visit already..hoho
Chit chat , play here and there and have dinner..
whole day at there talk and eat..
Go eat chicken rice ball..
YUK!!
totally not nice lo... to many peopl..
dey simply make only...hmmm
too bad.. give me bad impression..
But i must wait i get till DSLR camera go again..
is nice to snap photo!!
Hope can go wit someon...hehehehe
Hmmm snap some photo too...
there have a famous street like petaling street
but all is food one...hahahaha

(BOAT)(JONKOR STREET)(ME)

Nian chu 1 and eve...

2010-02-14T23:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday go for dinner at popo house..
hmm is normal but still nice..
meet up wit alot of cousin...haha
Is not really comfort but still ok la..
at least we gather once a year..haha
Today, i am prepare wearing red shirt and my funny short pant..haha
Step in my popo house...
hahahahaha
Meet up cousin again but one more group cousin came too..
I first time meet then since de day i born..haha
First time,
so I just like haha.. halo "gong hei fatt choi"
everyone HUAT!!!! haha
is like tat de lo...
After that go to 3 cousin house..
Wao!!!
I am tired man... although is tired
but at least I finish up our job!! haha
Hmmm
tomorrow chu 2,
I need to go up malacca...
Meet up my mother brother..
haha~!!!
He stay there no choice lo...
so enjoy my one day trip ba!!! hehe
After that , go fren house lo~~~
everybody,
I am coming to your house to bai nian lo!! hoho...
Wait for me~~~~

Here we go~~~

2010-02-13T03:22:00.000+08:00

Today I wake up at pukul 2 something..
Getting late and late oh..
Just now , dated by madeline out for movie!!!
Aiya , get into theft boat jor...haha
But feel good she treat la..
Hmm ok ba the movie!!!
Kinda funny de...haha
Alright, tomorrow CNY eve lo..
Hmmm
Dono where to eat le??
Dono ada go popo house boh??
Aiya nothing la.. as long everyone happy!!!!
haha..
GONG HEI FATT CHOI to me and everyone..
Owe one more people money , tomorrow morning rush other pay first!!!
Jangan utang people..haha
Hmmm...
In previous I lost something,
So i belive coming I will have something...
Although is a pass , but still got check it out de..
Although no communicate,
but alrready chat inside de heart!! hahahahah
Seeing so happy ,
I also feel happy too de~~~
Alright ,
Plan A start , CNY see can thin boh??
If cannot go for Plan B that is when college reopen..
Go for gym lo!!! hahah..
CNY nothing for me to eat de,
So gambateh ba!! hahahaha
God bless me this year fullyfill with luck
and most important is JOY ~~~~ haha
Good luck to U too~~~

Muahaha!!!

2010-02-12T00:59:00.000+08:00

Oh CNY is around de corner...haha
Is happy , so hope it keep on ba!! hehe
This few day I totally not feeling well!!!
Already beh tahan and today go see doctor~~~
hoho...
Just normal case , just have to eat medicine only...hehe
EEE~~~
CNY here.. I cannot sick..
Remain strong ba..haha
yesterday I sudah cut my hair!!
aduh.. the hairstyler is the owner..
Normally she din cut..
dono why she help me cut..
haiz.. so cha de she make my hair habis..
but nvm la...
Short jor also nice de when it grow!! hahaha
I today dye my short hair!! intro red and brown..
wao ... is nice and amazing..
Thanks to my mom on helping me..haha
hmm is kinda happy today,,,
I pay up my 2 loaner money..
one is ren, and one is madeline..
yesterday go out wit her to pasar malam.
but jor some earing and dvd..
no money to pay!!! haha so fish..
the ATM la.. tak ada duit wa..shit man!!
but today i pay up..
CNY is here la.. cannot owe people money..hehe
Oh ya, left one.. is ranson..
Owe him 20 buck ,so tomorow gotto clear..haha
Alright after that I am done now..hahahaha
Hmmm
Come one everybody..
CNY OH..
HUAT ARRRRR
Huat Huat Huat!!!
I watch the "scare till laugh" the movie teach one..haha
HUAT HUAT HUAT ~~~~~

No U-Turn....

2010-02-10T01:13:00.000+08:00

Hmmm..
made some decision already....
There are no use to turn back or looking back!!
Study hard and mix more fren on the coming sem!!
Wao is must be a joy right now~~~~
Wat can do???
let me turn to different...
I wan to cut my hair and be koren style...
muahahaha
Keep fit and wan to look a bit slim...
hohohoho~~
hope can la...haha
in the pass I had waste to much time already..
Why not I work hard on it!!
hahahahaha...
I already don have feeling and taste on it~~~
when look back to the past of it,
just feel is cold and is unknown to me .
everything is not important already~
now is a good chance for me to change..
Everything is given a space for me..
so!
Plan to go travel again..
I wan to go thailand pray,
melaka eat chicken ball rice ,
Uk or taiwan study,
enjoy my life if possible...
But before can do all this..
After cny I have to work hard!!
money and study is more important den others..
Hmmm next Sem is Sem 3...
Is a shorter class and hope more flexible ba!!
Although study for 4 day but is a short period only.
cant meet and keep a memoris is my wrong
becoz in the past don really appreaciate it..
but nvm!
The world is keep on turning...
we cant alway stop on the same moment!!
Just follow the flow to alive...
goodbye my sad past,
goodbye my naive time ,
goodbye my love one(careo),
goodbye my frenhood,
goodbye my cooperate wit my colleague,
goodbye my memorable time in the past..
Yesterday is a past,
today is a gift
and most important is tomorrow is a "mistery"...
haha..

Unhappy and tired!

2010-02-09T18:19:00.000+08:00

Last night I saw the timetable...
although I have to study 4 day ,
but the time i getting shorter..
Wat to do le after class???
Hmmmm
I feel like going home but no choice ,
I have rent the house!
Hmmm
feel sad also becoz we don have one class
is the whole class will meet together..
is just a lecture class....
Haiz!! like tat more die la..
Wan to meet once also geting hard!!
Only lecture , somemore is so lame..
Haiz...
So damn moody...
Study physco in this sem!
although cant meet frenz anymore
but i have to study hard also!!!
This sem wit B7 again!!
Oh shit!! not really nice being wit them..
But no choice.. wat to do!!
haiz... no heart to keep on study..
everyone is being seperate already..
well~~ wat can do is study hard lo!...
today dono why so moody and tired..
yesterday sleep at 3 am..
wake up at 2 pm coz my fren calling..
but after that around 4pm i sleep again!!
wake up at six,
check on facebok saw some comment
check back my timetable and feel sad!!!
Haiz haiz haiz~~~~
tonight go pasar by CNY song ba!!!

I hurt my neck!!!

2010-02-09T03:17:00.000+08:00

Oh man!!
This morning around 10 something
I got disturb by customer..
shit man!!
I was sleeping la.. totally tired..
but no choice!!
hehe
Since I early wake up,
i got to go pandan indah!!
Go pay back money and eat lunch!!
After that I went to UCSI again!! hahaha
Study there... today damn warm man!
So suck I wear sweater!
Somemore the hanren make my neck injuired!!
Is was totally pain till now mid night 3 am!!
I cant turn left and right~~~
Oh man.. it was painful la..aduh!!
I plan after class go time square to shop and watch movie !!
when the class end , my jean the knee there torn off!!
So no choice!! Go home first..
wao shop alone is quite cool...
I went to TS at 8 something!!
I must quickly shop and buy something!!
yeah= I bought a shoe!!!
Is so freaking cool becoz I start to speak english wit others..
hahahahaha! nice.. can train well my eng~~~
Hmmm after shop , I saw my fren madeline working there!
oh let go for movie...
OMG...WooHoo again!!!!!
but is okay la.. at least is nice and funny...haha
We sat at couple sit but we are not couple at all...hahahahahha
freaking funny!
Oh man... my neck still pain la..
How am I going to sleep le????
sakit ~~ sakit~~~ sangat sakit~~~~
hmmmm.....
So wuliao de me!!
Start tomorrow I think nothing to let me think anymore!!
even the last matter (her) i also stop already!!
very tired jor!! after cny only think la..
Now wat I not yet do?? everything is done
but
my room still haven paint yet although i tranform my table bed all that!!
let rock it out tomorrow!!
I start to feel that I can shop alone and purchase stuff..
How about tomrrow go sing k?? hehe..
considere and try alone see...hehehehehe
nitez!

What to do le???

2010-02-08T01:12:00.000+08:00

This morning I been waked up by my sister!!
out for lunch..
OMG I am damn tired and having bad dream...
Hmmm ok let jom pergi buy cny stuff...
At the evening..
I start to tranform my room...
Moving here and there...
So busy le..
My sister ask many thing..
My dad suddenly said..
Bring ur Gf come back this coming chinese new year!!
I was like..
What the~~ OMG!!!
I remain silence on the moment..
First time my dad told me this type of thing..
Before that , my dad din even metion about my gf
same as my family...
Dey ask me where is my gf and when bring back!!!
They saw her before~~~
but
I remain silence again!!
In my thinking I am totally happy
becoz my family like her and accept it..
they concern about us!!
Before that they not agreee....
zBut something bad in my heart ...
We are seperated already!!!
She leave far away from me...
OMG man!! what to do oh?
I cant even answer them and I keep on divert it!!!!
Haiz...
Hou charm lo like tat~~~~
If i let my dad know i single jor!!
Dono wat he will think to his son me~~~~
first time he cakap macam tu!!!
aduh~~~
I I dono wat to do jor!!!
Everyone as me to do it...
try to chase back! BUT
i am worried! becoz
There are reason....
She has her reason y cant be~~
So i also mm zai oh!!!!
hmmmm!!!
CNY coming~~
I also dono wat to do becoz every year de same~~~
Gambateh ba everyone~~~
about that problem , after cny only see any action!!!
before know any result...
make sure enjoy first!! hohohoho
GONG XI GONG XI~!~

From happy End Up sad!!

2010-02-07T01:08:00.000+08:00

Hmm yesterday morning get a bad news!!
My brother (ranson) is SINGLE!!
Oh my god.. wat the....
Hmmm the reason got alot
I dono want to start where...Hmmm
So that evening I go out wit him go eat dinner and ts..
He is freaking sad same as me becoz he remind me something!!
Haiz! kesian....
We at night went to nic there to play..
We drive Madza RX8 go to cyber and putra jaya!!
Snap a lot of photo been to many place..
Ya we just have a break of joy but later sad back!!
I go over his house to over night!!
We back from there is already 4 am and we sleep at 5..
talk alot man!!!
_______________________________________
Today morning wake up and rush to nic there again!!
Today we going to dengkil and cyber also!
Took a lot of photo!!
Is a short joy also de...Hmmm
we went to a park walk even..
But I am ranson dono why freaking no mood whole day!!
At night when to nicole there play mahjong~
The dog is keep on disturbing me and I cant even concentrate!!
Even before that I was at car chatting wit ranson!!
Wao I suddenly feel missing and missing something~~
Oh man!! I am damn sad now!!!!!
____________________________________

I though is a happy day but end up not really!!!
Seeing my bro in this problem I also feel sad about mines!
I till now also feel that the reason is been given are totally not acceptable by me!!
I now only realise that reason is not about us but is about her~~~
If really love someone!! no matter how there is a solution!
Ranson giving me 3 ans...
1= he love others more than me!
2= Not really love me from the begining at all!
3= Is she love on someone and some unsolve problem!
Oh man.. hearing this, I feel that I am totally down down down!!!!!
Already pass so long, suddenly flash back~~~
Wao it mean that there are something hidden.
I dono le... I don wan to think becoz is a death end already!
Hmmm
Is fated , we will meet up at the end of the day~~~
..........

genting 1 day trip!!!

2010-02-05T01:22:00.000+08:00

Haha!!
I am totally crazy man...haha
Yesterday when to pool wit ranson!!
Yeah I won him... 5 or 6 over 2....hahahaha
We suddenly discuss wan to go genting blow wind..
Oh man..IS mad!!
We ask wai on and irene to join along..
Wao! Is my time to be driver man!! hahahahah
Is cool!!
I was dirvin honda CR-V to genting...
Is my first time , so is not reall fast but can reach within 1 hour..
!!!!!
Is damn freaking cold last night till we are freezing!
We have dinner there ... we eat at 10 something..hehehehe
Den got for pool again at genting and get some cold wind..hehe
Is cold , but around 12 something we have to back..
wah the road just a nice plce for me to drift..
but to bad, I won becoz I am afraid i would crash..
so drive slowly and safely...hahahahahaha
Is a nice day , becoz when we reach there stop rain but is damn freaking cold!! haha

(Freaking Cold)(dinner)(On andGirl)(ranson)(me~~)

The weather is cold ....hahaha...the fog is covering the hotel...haha

NO GO OUT!!

2010-02-03T01:44:00.000+08:00

haha... today I din go yam cha or shopping lo..
Whole day at home sit diam diam..
Hmmm this evening ,
I clean up and throw all the past stuff..
All my book , my toy all tat la..
Now my room is less and less thing...
haha...
Throw this and tat.. really funny..
oh ya..
I now thinking wan to put wat colour on my room..
hmmm Think of purple,
but mom don allow , so think of pink!!
hoohohohohohooh
Sei lo... become ah pon already..haha
No la.. put light light pink only la..
Just pur fot nice only..
I seldom sleep one , so use it for display ba..haha
Hmmm
so tired after packing the stuff...
Oh my fren Madeline..
So charm...haha give people bluff go up boat jor..haha
stupid de..
stupid stupid follow fren go genting den so late only back..haha
dai sei lo..if not me sms wit u a, i think i die jor la..haha
hmm let see tomorrow mau buat apa first..
go kajang, cari sohai makan,
den go find ranson go pool..
ok good for it...hehehehehe
CNY Faster come la.. I really beh tahan a!!
Hou sien la..Somemore no work for me to do..
At home liong floor till finsih all jor la...hahahahahahaha

Gambar Gambar Gambar!!!!

2010-02-02T21:40:00.000+08:00

Here are the Pd photo...Now uploaded...haha

(ROOM)(ME)(ME)(SUNSET)(FUNFAIR)(SEAVIEW)(ME AGAIN)(SEA VIEW)(HOUSE VIEW)

hahahahahahaha

here are the photo... some of it censored already..

so cannot post here if not i will get kill de...hahahahaha

all right.... plan for next trip soon..

so planing and ask some fren to join!!

May be is u oh ( the 1 who read my blog)...

Come on.. is will be fun...hahahahahahaha

Lo Lo Lun de today!!

2010-02-02T01:37:00.000+08:00

Last night been writing a lot of thing...
Cant sleep well and dono why mid night suddenly moody!@!
Wat has happen???
I dono wat i am thinking on that time and worried about..
I suddenly feel the time is so miserable...
Is that fair to me ?? why everyone can sleep but i cant??
hahahaha..
After my ex tell me de secret..
I feel that is normal and I know it since long time ago..
anyway... Should not border becoz sudah past ma..
Hmmm this morning , I suddenly cant breath and jump up!!
I feel very suffer and almost break from breathing!!
Wat the hell is happening on me??
Hmmm after that I sleep again and wake up at 1 something..
OMG~~
is so lame man , I dono wat to do,
not having breakfast and lunch and totally hungry la..
Aduh!! so lame la..
have a red apple and lye on the sofa..
Thinking left and right , front and back!! haha
apa hal le?? think sad , happy , past , money ...
wat also think...
sei lo..
Who day lo lo lun de!!!!
Like something inside to think and like something will happen..
meh shi le???
i never feel that before de.. look is a lame day for me..
At the evening , I help my dad to cat my house..
Oh is a tired day also de but still lo lo lun again!
Wat really make me feel that till now 1 35 am i also dono..
Go out drink tea wit fren but din talk much..
just diam diam play poker at cafe~~~
HMMM CNY coming lo..
must happy happy de , but I wan to know wat happen lo..
can tell me mou????
not becoz of her , family , money and work...
den is wat le??? aduh!!
HOU CHARM A!!!!!!!
Nowaday keep on at home "Liong dei Gun"..
Mo Sor SiSi!! just like a fai chai only...swt..haha
nitez

I am back~~~ many thing to write a...

2010-02-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

I am back from PD trip~~
Is was quite fun there....haha
We are been crazy for quite sometime...haha
We paly a lot of thing , swimming ,
catch crab , teasing each other ,
poker , beer , junk food and watch tv...
hahahaha!! 3 day of relaxation...
although there got many arguement and fighting
but there are more joke lo...hahahahazzz
so end nothing lo...hahahaha
fun wit many thing...
we go fun fair , win some prize
catch crab , woo girl , play game and alot...hahazz
Hmm...there let me temporary forget everything..
forget the past , forget the sadness forget the problem..
the joy is we jump into the sea and swim swim swim...
hahahaha..
Oh ya... there are thousand of crab under our leg..
argh!! is so damn horrible but is fun...haha
Wat the mad thing is we go at night...hehe!!
Hmm is a good trip...
The photo will upload soon!! haha..
____________________________________________

Ok let talk about others..
hohohohoho..
I sudah tau already la....hahahahaha
yuan lai got many problem de..
my ex got prob and my fren also got prob...
hmmmm
this is the problem lo...
hahahaha...
i know den can de la...
Hmmm just have a small arguement wit my ex
is about my fren de problem and our past de..
Fren de settle becoz not my prob
and I side de i know jor...
hahahaha!!
I thought she got wat is cannot tell de..
yuan lai is that "problem"...
May be is over 26 of jan jor..
so no more that feeling which will not happy already..
hehehehe..
thanks for telling me that..
it show that i don think more for anys...hehehehe
I know u sure see de lo..haha
i nothing jor de la...
Dono why now write about this passage of blog will laugh..
She to "naive" feel that i will angry..
hahahaha... sudah pass de la..
As long u happy I happy la..
Ownself find ownself joyful la...haha!!
She still remain so "kedekut" de...hahahaha
don belanja me eat "lou sang"...hmmm
nvm...I ownself go wit fren..
Wao waiting for CNY come la..
I must plan a lot of Fucking thing to do..
I don wan to bored......hahahahaha
Go fren house , go gamble , go shopping ...
hohohoho!! go kacau awek is the most important things..
cannot don do de thing lai de..
Alright end here...
Today don have the feel to write about the pd trip!
so write better for next blog...haha

Hmmm dream dream dream!!!

2010-01-29T02:24:00.000+08:00

I never have a dream wish come true!!
Recently there are problem in my family again...
My sister need a lot money for her sickness
But my dad business got problem..
my mom going to stop working!!
am Me now is non working!
sei lo....
Please la..
Why cant just le enjoy my young tme!!
I very san fu jor a!!
I no income ,
den no one care already,
family facing financial prob,
haiz study not really good ,
Problem wit some college mate!
haiz...
Why every year or everytime also got problem de~~
Hmmm
can just fullfill me just dream!
I lost my time , I lost my family time
I lost my girl fren , I lost my work
and I lost everything..
Hmmm love , money , trust!!!
In my dream i have everything
but
when reality , apa also don have~~
Ya !! is true there are people better den me..
i admit , but I tell myself I won lost!!!
I must work hard and study hard..
Play is must but seldom now...
Tomorrow go travel ,
but not feeling excited at all..
hope reach there will be better ba!!!
Alright after come back , i must be more aggresive ~~
I have send a resume to a company , hope they accept me...
Go Go Go....
I must make it dream come true!!

__________________________________________________________________

Let talk about my fren..
recently , there are like war!!!
she shoot him ,
he shoot her ,
den another she shoot him ,
den all shoot here and there..
Haiz bro,
come on la... give it up la..
People leave us sure got reason de..
forcing alos no use la..
just belive our life ba...
Hmmm
now still young ,
there are time la..
Let time prove everything ba...hehe
Wish her , him and her good luck
and ALL THE BEST!!!...
(ex) don over cross on some people matter!
Although we see till not happy,
but they could solve it...
Don say about people ,
so that people don hav chance to say back!!
be ourself is de save and right way!!
hope u know wat i mean...take care~~
______________________________________________________________________

I went to fetch my mom from work...
haiz..
She tell me alot of thing..
ask me to study wat I wan and work hard..
Don be a worker ,
but must learn from work...
After learn only decide to do wat..
Example like boss or anything...
I think of open a PR company..
but are that really work???
Hmmm
Thinking of it!! if really work den that good..
So i have to think properly about wat is my future...
go for it and work hard!!
My mom tell me ,
Now i enough for myself,
but if u have a wife or son how??
sure not enough..
May be wat she say is no meaning..
but after this words she tell me..
I finally think of..
dating or not is not important right now!!
Think something useful better ba..
When i am steady and sucess
I think that time I only think about it!
dono when is it i will sucess
but i belive I will sucess one day!~~

Hmmm okay fine!!

2010-01-28T01:00:00.000+08:00

Wao since u had write till like tat....
sudah tak ada comment lo...
hehehehe!!
Thank u for being cruel that break my heart~~
Hmmm
I think i should wake up lo...
people no interest in here already why still wan wait!!
wait wat shit la!!
hahahahaha....
As long everyone is happy den can lo...
After this story from here i finally wake!!
hehehehehe
suan la... wait also not allow...
so just continues ba...
hahahahaha i recently mix some new fren..
thanks for concern about me..
i am fine now!! really~~
Recover already...hahahaha
Alright ,
chinese new year is near..haha
Let come celebrate man!! hahahaha
Err this fri I going to PD lo..
Hope is a nice trip man..!!
Next week go genting wit few classmate..
hope is nice to..
actually is volleyball fren ,
but some cannot so we change to after cny only go..
OMG!!
go so many time..sien de la...haha
Ok!!
I must go travel alot..
March or May must go Redang!!
Find girl at there..haha..
no la...!!
sei bryan... keep on teach me be Fa Fit!!
sei zai bao a...
just now have nice tea wit liz teng , bryan and shaun..
Thanks for the joke and crap..
appreciate so much...haha!!
I am mr Banana la la zai!! haha
Lastly to say is!!
I FINISH EXAM LO!!!!!
yeahooo~~~hahaha

Alright!! pass is pass so Now is NaW!!!

2010-01-26T19:30:00.001+08:00

Hmmm At last i understand and know it~~
haha!!
Okay past is past and now is NaW!!
De past has leave , i finally is new!
hmmm
forget it le lo , I don wan blur jor!!
CNY is here and tomorrow is my last exam!
I have to change and be more playful~~
In this world if i still don play den I will be sorry..
So let hang out and enjoy it~~
Before that something is keep on stopping me..
I alway hear my heart to do and my feeling to follow
But
NAW~~ bybye!
since they day end up my part,
I am the another man!!!
Forcing and misunderstanding is causing other in trouble,
I finally understand wat u are and wat u wan!
Ok from this minutes 7.27pm start!!!
We have no linkage and I won do anything like last time..
We are just a "friend" only!!
So....
we are walking de different ways...haha
I won care about wat u did and as well u to me!!
Once a fren alway a fren....
From now , i would straight to everyone!!
I willing to help but see is it worth it or not!
I would think before I action~~
try to belive in someone lo!!
I must be a Hou yan!! hahahahahaha
Alrigh end here!! will update soon...byez

Mix and match story!!

2010-01-26T01:36:00.000+08:00

Haiz.....
Everything the first thing I wan to write blog ,
My brain will ask me to say "haiz" first..
I have to much problem and stress already..
Think back turn back to see....
I have many unhappy pass...
I don understand at all...Hmmm~~
My family , my fren , financial and lastly my girl..
family is settle ,
fren is normal ,
financial is okay
but girl fren is zero !!
haha!!
I am just 19 okay..
Many chance but no choice ..
I nge nge wan to chase back a..
ahahaha!! blow a~~
Wee
err I dono wat happen to me..
to sot jor...haha
yesterday I go pinch back my ear hole again..
oMg..
I am lala again...Not la actually!!
I wan to be a cool and handsome de "fei chai"...haha
So bought a diamond ear ring and wait to change..
Hmm left few shirt to buy and lastly
I wan to dye my hair!! hahahaha
I wan to make it Red ma!!
Red hot boy!!
Mr banana Red boy...woohooo
Oh ya
i went to watch tiger woohoo..
is kinda funny...hahaha
I wit my 3 brother pergi..
We are crazy enough.. we together buy polo t shirt..haha
I bought pink ,
keong bought green,
jack bought blue,
and Ren bought light pink..haha
OMG!!
Really sot jor...hahahahaha
Hmmm I finally transform to new richy guy jor..
I have to care my imej and have to life like prince..Haha!!

24th of january~~

2010-01-25T02:17:00.000+08:00

24 of every month is very meaningful for me..
but how much meaning is it also turn up nothing...
hehehehe~~

Alright , plan and think a lot alos end up blank..
Why don we happily eenjoy everyday le???
Today is my shopping day...
My partner for today is my company accountant..
Madeline Chow!!
We are date to go for mid valley ,
but I reach there is totally full..
so we turn to sunway..
but when I almost reach ,
Is totally jam!!
OMG~~
So no choice ,
We got to go TIME SQUARE...hehe
I never truthly follow a girl go shopping..
I at last realise that why girl need to shop so long..
At last I understand...
Dey keep on do research and think before they buy..
Although is tough for the whole day but I learn something..
is my Patience!!
I din complain and just follow her go here and there..
I must learn to be more patience so I can go shop wit my future gf..
Mostly of girl don like guy to follow becoz they know guy are inpatience...
but dono why , I today can do it...
I shop for around 5 five hours ,
Go up and down , try here and there...
Around 6 , is time for me to buy...hahahaha
I shop so long i just bought a short pant...
hmmm is kinda nice becoz from her comment...haha
first time get comment from girl when i buy pant...
normally is my family only!!hahahaha
Is really tired becoz my leg is getting pain and cramp..
but I totally enjoy the day becoz I can learn alot..
how to see a girl choose and pick..
Is totally lot to learn...
I start to feel I like to go shopping wit girls...
becoz train my patience and help me to think and considere...
train my taste and teach me mix and match!!
Wao that nice...
Somemore one thing tat is can learn to be gentlemen...haha
She bought a lot so I have to take for her..
GRR!!!
No choice la , cant find partner out , so have to help her...haha
Anyway , a nice day today although there are some sad memoris..
but gone soon and enjoy shop today...
Phew!!
i am so tired la , my leg are cramp and tired..
but I learn a lot... shop wit girl is nice and I like it...hahahaha
hope to have chance wit someone i like or frenzz
haha

Sad but is memoris...

2010-01-23T02:29:00.000+08:00

Hmmm
Sei jor... why everywhere I go...
I keep on tell me the memoris we had..
The place I eat , the place I drink ,
The place I sleep , The time I drive...
It remind me in the cinema
It remind me at the restaurant
It remind me at the car
It remind me at the Mc donald
It remind me at the cafe
It remind me when I am get saman
It remind me when we go travel
It remind me when we eat together
It remind me when we chit chat
It remind me alot more...
but everything has to end...
HAIZ~~~~~
Why this world so many sad case le??
Becoz of to clever jor...hahahaha...
There are no more hope and tomorrow
since de moment being rejected...

Suffer suffer suffer~~~

2010-01-22T21:21:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i go work wit my father..
My uncle sick so I have to replace..
Hmmm
It been 6 years i din follow my dad go to work...
hmm everything has change lot..
The customer are getting lesser
and the income are less too..
May be this is wat people life are ba....
I dream on something last night...
Haiz....
SO i have to work hard ba..
I feel that without money i am nothing..
So I have to work hard to find money...
Now wat I see is Wey ru and her bf...
They are seperate already...
Why!! why they got chance don appreciate le...
Hmmm...
I am sad when seeing such situation...
I am being fate no chance but they have..
Why dey wan to do it??? why wo...
I wan also don have...
I start feel that I no gf wit me i am alone...
I start feel she is my part and parcel...
Stop fooling around and wan to serious...
but~ end nothing...haiz...
Why why why!!!
Why she can think more on positive side wo ...
settle her side and recover wit my side...
I alos don wan anything....
I am totally through and through on her..
This time I am in deep shit...
This few night I dream alot ~~
But everything is just a dream to me only...
haiz... single single!!
Why can let me in couple wit T.O.I.L!!
hmmm
chinese new year is around...
I wan to cat my room jor...
since tomorrow nothing to do den i have to do...
Till now also no positive before..
WTF!!! hahahahahahaha...
just trying to divert my sad feeling only..
actually I am not happy at all...
SAD~